Concession Speech

"I am Martha Coakley. And while this might ring nearly as hollow to you as when my plastic surgeon Carlos first said it to me, I'd like to say I'm sorry for totally failing you. I don't know all of what you've done for me during this campaign. Whatever those things are that one does when campaigning. I don't know most of you at all, actually. Or any of you now that I am actually looking out into the crowd at you. Boy, there sure are a lot of you. Are you sure you all voted? If you each drove here, that's a good 500 ballots per trunk, right? No I will not get of the stage."